A Message for my Niece on her 18th Birthday

October 29, 2010

Genesis, with her father Pastor Teddy Tarlit of Gospel of Christ Fellowship (Binalonan)

Gen, this message is specifically written for you on your 18 birthday but I hope my other nieces, or any other Christian girl who was raised in a Christian home will find it beneficial too.

I want to start by rewinding time to the point when we were the youth of Gospel of Christ Fellowship.

When the Internet first became available in San Carlos City, rentals cost fifty pesos an hour. Very expensive for such a slow connection. For that reason, the medium I hold dear is the radio. The radio set was a precious possession for three main reasons:

i. with it, I was updated with the latest news and current events

ii. with it, I was fed with the Word of  God. Through the radio, I was acquainted with great preachers like Charles Swindoll and John Macarthur.

iii. With it, I enjoyed listening to Christian Contemporary Music (CCM). I rarely missed Eric Maliwat's program 4-2-6.

When we were the youth of GCF, we were fans of CCM artists such as DC Talk, Jars of Clay, Rebecca St. James, Petra, Jaci Velasquez, etc. One of the things we longed for is the chance of being a part of the delegation to visit Asia-Pacific Theological Seminary in Baguio City where instructional materials were given for free. Included in the freebies are posters and cassette tapes of CCM.

Even when I was no longer attending GCF, I still received some copies of Encounter Magazine from a former churchmate (iba na ang may koneksyon). I want to show you something... (they say when you talk with kids, you need visual aids). This is the July 28, 2002 issue of the Encounter Magazine. A pretty teenage CCM artist appears on the cover. I assume that if Encounter Magazine puts your face on its cover, they saw you as a role model for the rest of the Christian youth. That is not so surprising since this young girl was raised by two Christian parents-- both of them are pastors (something you have in common with her)-- and she was very active at church (another thing you have in common).

Now that the Internet is so much cheaper and faster, we have subscribed for an unlimited access (atsaka matagal na ring nag-retiro yung aking radyo). Naturally, I use Google to search for my interests. My interest for news and current events have dwindled down. I am still fervent about sound biblical teaching. On CCM, we'll I'm no longer as passionate as before but I'm still a fan. So I used Google to search for these artists and my search yielded some great results like legal mp3's from Apologetix, a Christian parody band.

One day, I remembered this issue of Encounter Magazine. I checked the name of the pretty girl on its cover and it was "Katy Hudson". So I typed that name on Google's search field. Strangely, Google cannot give me results for "Katy Hudson". More strangely, Google kept on directing me to a girl named "Katy Perry". I found out later that Katy Hudson changed her name to Katy Perry.

When I searched for her and found her, she was about to release the album "One of the Boys". A few months later, she's a superstar, topping the charts with the "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It", a song promoting lesbianism.

The supposed to be role model for the Christian youth is now very far from her roots. She used to sing that even if you throw her in a lake or throw her in prison or throw her in a lion's den, her "Faith Won't Fail”.



Now, she's #1 on a men's magazines Hot 100 list, she opposed Proposition 8 (which defined Marriage as a union between a man and a woman) and was reported to have said she would rather die than be celibate for a year.

I am not doing this out of hatred for Katy. I would be very happy if the prodigal daughter returns home. I am raising her case on your 18th birthday because Katy Perry is just a representative of what is happening in general to young men and women in America who were raised in  Christian homes. When they reach the age of independence, they leave home and soon abandon the faith of their parents.

Gen, at 18 you are still dependent on your parents for you food and education, but time will come when you have to leave home and raise your own family. You will soon leave the home where you received Christian instruction from your parents.

Gone are the days when kids inherit the vocation of their parents. It used to be that when the father is a furniture maker, the son will also be a furniture maker. When the father is a fisherman, the son will also be a fisherman. Girls too will more likely inherit the trade of their parents and marry men within their community. Gone are those days. The trend is, upon finishing college education they go where the job is. If the job is in Pampanga, youngsters will go there. If the job is in Manila, youngsters will go there. If the job is in the Middle East, youngsters will fly to the Middle East.

Gen, I hope that you will find job close to home, but who knows where you will work tomorrow?

And who knows to whom will you fall in love? Perhaps you will marry  someone who will take you to Cagayan or to Cebu or to Sabah or to Ethiopia. No one knows for sure.

What that means is that you have to strengthen your faith now. You have to prepare for the time when you will be away from you parents and your church. The world is waiting for you. I have some practical lessons for you to this end:

1. Listen to the Christian teaching from your parents, keep it and treasure it.

Proverbs 1:8 says "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Of course your parents must do their part. And I assume they have been doing that for you for the past 18 years. Deuteronomy 6 says parents must instruct their children in every situation: While sitting at home; while walking in the road; when you lie down and when you get up. That is their duty-- yours is to listen and treasure what they have imparted to you from infancy up to now.

2. Consider the weight of your responsibility in passing the faith of your parents to your own children.

Gen, someday you will marry (hopefully). Deut. 6:2 says that the goal of parents in instructing their kids is "so that you, your children, and their children after them may fear the Lord"

"YOU"- Teddy and Imelda
"YOUR CHILDREN"- Genesis, Micah, and Blessie
"THEIR CHILDREN AFTER THEM"- the grandsons and granddaughters of Teddy and Imelda

THAT THEY MAY ALL FEAR THE LORD.God's design is an unbroken chain of passing the faith from generation to generation.

In the Rosario clan, you are only a 2nd generation born again Christian. Ate Cynthia, Imelda, and Virgie received the Lord while they were in College. It will be a tragedy if the chain will be broken in the 2nd link.

3. Choose your friends well.

Be with those who love the Lord. I'm not saying you must avoid unbelievers-- you would have to go out of the world to do that (1 Cor. 5:10). What I'm saying is that in the most intimate relationships, be with those who are passionately in love with the Lord.

1 Cor. 15:33 says "Bad company ruins good morals"

Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with the wise grows with the wise"

Never forget also that your closest friend in the future will be your husband. So choose a guy who is very much in love with the Lord.


4. Remember that God is worthy of fear

Proverbs 1:7 says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..."

In some sections of Christianity, there is an overemphasis on God's love. Of course it is good to teach about the love of God. But some people do so at the expense of his other attributes like justice and holiness.

Earlier you father quoted Ecc. 12:1 says "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth..." for time will come when your arms and legs will grow weak and your sight becomes dim and your hearing becomes dull. Even super athletes like Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali must retire. Verse 14 of the same chapter says God will bring every deed into judgment.

Keep in mind that God is a threat to those who don't love him. “It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Heb. 10:31)

I don't want to end my message with a threat, so here's the final point.

5. Remember that there is no happiness equal to the pleasures God offers

Psalm 16:11 says “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at you right hand.”

True and lasting joy is found only in fellowship with God. Where else should you go?

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Suggested Reading:

Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens

by Paul David Tripp

Incisive Words from a Loving Heart

Every part of man was created by God for his glory.

Your hands,

your feet,

your reproductive organs,

your brain.

From head to toe, every part of you were created by him and for him (Col.1:16). But when man fell into sin, we rejected God’s purpose for our body: we use our hands in ways dishonoring to God. We use our feet to go where God does not want us to go. We use our brains for scheming evil or for creative ungodly imaginations.

No wonder when we were redeemed, God demanded that we should use every part of us to serve him. He wants us to remember that we are not our own, we were bought with a price.

1 Cor. 6:18-20: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

Our speech components were also redeemed by God. Consider how the bible describes how we use our speech components before we were saved:

Romans 3:13-14 "Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit." "The poison of vipers is on their lips." “"Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness."

And so now that we are saved and God is in the business of sanctifying us, he is after the transformation of our speech:

Eph. 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”

God wants us to use our lips in such a way that that will bring nourishment and health to others:

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Prov. 16:24).

There is no room for verbal abuse in the life of a Christian.

Prov. 12:18: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Men are in possession of a deadly weapon, and they are all licensed to carry it—that deadly weapon is the tongue.

ERRING ON THE OTHER SIDE

But we could also err on the other side. We could also misuse our lips when we offer sweet candies when a brother needs a bitter pill. We could misuse our tongues when we give a kiss when what is needed is a surgery.

There are two things I want to address:

1.       On the part of the speaker- we desire to be liked; we want to be adorable. In real life, you want to be admired. You don’t want to play the role of Romy Diaz or Bella Flores in other people’s lives. You want to be as sweet as possible.

2.       On the part of the listener- You like kind people; you like persons who are nice to you.

Because of these factors, both the speaker and the listener may disregard Prov. 27:6

 “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” (NIV)

Hebrews 5:11-6:8:

Some time ago, I preached on Heb.5:11-14. That Message titled “The Dangers of and Cure for Dullness of Hearing.” I received some good feedback when I preached it. Thanks for receiving it not as my word but as the word of God. One feedback I received was while he was listening was “para akong sinasampal”. You see, these words are sharp-edged. Not even the barrage of jokes I released that morning intercepted the flying arrows from this text. Let us go through the verses and feel the blades:

5:11- “you have become so dull in hearing”

5:12- “though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the ABC’s of the faith.

5:13-14 you have become spiritual Bondyings, what you need is not solid food but milk

But the incisive words doesn’t end at chapter 5’s last verse, they kept coming even in the next chapter where he implied that their present condition, if it goes unchecked might end in apostasy

6:4-6  if those who were exposed to the spiritual experiences that you have shall fall away, it will be impossible to renew them to repentance

6:6- he equates the state of these apostates as a re-crucifixion of Christ

These are really incisive words yet there is more to come.

6:7-8- he presents an illustration on what apostasy is.

“Hebrews 6:7-8 "Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned.

Hear what he is saying:It is expected for a piece of land to produce a harvest of useful stuff for the one who cultivates—but after all the rain and cultivation it produces thorns and thistles, it must be rejected. It should be cursed and burned. If after all the blessing of God in your lives, if after all the means of grace that he has given to you like the church, fellowship and bible knowledge, if you life yields thorns instead of useful crop, you are good for nothing. And you deserve judgment.

Words that are:

Pointed… bladed… Sharp… incisive…

Hebrews 6:9-12

Does he lack love for others? No. The word rendered as “beloved” or “dear friends” in verse 9 is a term of endearment. It is a word to express affection. It is also significant that in the whole epistle, it is only used here. The writer knows how heavy his previous statements. Surely, there will be an impression among the readers that he hates them. So he uses this word to send the message that though he has some critical things to say, he loves them.

Does he lack respect for others? No. In fact he has a high view of them. He is very much convinced that they are true converts and that they will not fall away. Though they have reached this sorrowful condition called “Dullness of hearing”, the writer is very much convinced that they will bounce back and recover:

“Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case--things that accompany salvation.” (Heb.6:9)

He knows the sharpness of the words he has used but he says that even though he speaks as harsh as this, he does not really believe they will end in apostasy as described in verses 4-8. They were once at the peak of spirituality. Sadly, their feet slipped considerably down the slope towards this condition called “dullness of hearing”. When this downgrade progresses, they may fall at the lowest level called apostasy. So the author of Hebrews warns them about it, yet though he speaks this way, he is confident that they will slide on that level. He has this certainty that they will continue in this path of salvation.

What makes him so confident that they will not fall away?

1^st, he has observed their life and saw works done and the love shown in the service of others for the name of Christ a (v.10, Heb.10:32-34)--- that was in the early days. At present, perhaps it has diminished a little because of their present spiritual condition that’s why he was asking them to remember the earlier days. But it has not totally disappeared and that service continues. (v.10).

He is confident that they will not fall away because he has observed their lives and recognize good fruit. See how Paul was convinced that the Thessalonians were chosen by God (1 Thess. 4-10).

2^nd, he based it on the character of God as just. Because he is just, he doesn’t ignore the works done in his service. I have said this before, and I’ll say it again. Pres. Marcos issued the Labor law as a presidential decree. For all the evil he is known for, he wants justice for the labor sector. God is infinitely more just than Marcos. He will not ignore the labors done for him—works that he himself gave us the desire and the ability to do (Phil.2:13)

Now if he is convinced that they belong among God’s elect, why then does he said those incisive warnings about apostasy?

You see, like the rest of us, our observations about a person’s life and his eternal destiny are subjective. I have some Professing Christian friends. As I observe their lives, I come up with varying conclusions. For some of my friends, I am almost certain that they are indeed true Christians; for some, I really doubt their Christianity; and still for others, I’m not sure. It is all subjective—according to my perceptions only. Only God knows who are truly elect and who are not. I can’t know for sure because God did not leave a visible tattoo on their skins. My only basis is that if they are continuing in the faith.

The author of Hebrews wrote those incisive words with a desired effect in mind. What is it? It is there in v. 11-12 “We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” This is a desire so strong that the NET renders it as “But we passionately want each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness…”

This pattern of hard work and love that you have set in the past, we want to see continued until the end. This thing that has convinced me that you are indeed the elect of God, I want to see until the end. I am convinced that you are truly of God, but I must continue witnessing it. If this diligence evaporates, so is my confidence about your salvation. You must continue in your diligence to make your hope sure.  I must say these incisive words so you will not fall into laziness. We want you to hold on to your Faith and patience so that in the end, you will posses what was promised.

His desired effect then for his incisive words is that it may serve as a means of their perseverance in the faith. That is the 5^th point of our Calvinistic doctrine of salvation (the doctrines of grace)—those who are elect and are drawn irresistibly by his grace shall persevere  in the faith until the end. But God works through means. As an article in the canons of Dort puts it: “And, just as it has pleased God to begin this work of grace in us by the proclamation of the gospel, so he preserves, continues, and completes his work by the hearing and reading of the gospel, by meditation on it, by its exhortations, threats, and promises…” (I removed the sacramental part, but to this part, I agree).

We are preserved not just with the comforting exhortations and lovely promises but also by the dreadful threats… and so the Book of Hebrews is full of threats.

John Piper explains the necessity of the word of God for our perseverance:

“We can say that eternal security is certain for the Christian, yet avoid a mechanical view that drains the blood-earnestness right out of the weekly ministry of preaching to the saints. Biblically God uses the earnest application of the means of grace to hold his people secure; one of those means is the preaching of God’s Word. Heaven and hell are at stake every Sunday morning not merely because unbelievers are present, but also because our people are saved “IF they continue in the faith” (Col. 1:23) (The Supremacy of God in Preaching)

BUT THAT is just Dort… that is just Piper. What I want is Scripture—okay, so I will give you Scripture:

Heb.3:13: “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”

As we minister the word of God to each other, we strengthen each other’s resistance against sin. Your brother, your sister who sits beside you is an instrument of God for your perseverance in the faith.

My final words for recipients of rebuke:

1.       Be open to criticism

2.       When you are wounded emotionally, test whether the wound came from the world or from the Scriptures. If it comes from the world, you are a victim. Yet do not retaliate. Leave it to God; he knows what to do.

3.       But if the wound inflicted upon your soul is scriptural, count it as a blessing.

4.       Do not be suspicious about the other person’s motive when he rebukes you. The efficacy of the word of God is not dependent upon the motive of the instrument. Paul can even rejoice about people whose intentions are wrong provided that they have the right message (Phil.1:15-18). God can use a person with wrong motives for your sanctification as long as their rebuke is biblically valid.

For rebuke givers,

1.       Be open to criticism too.

2.       Do not utter incisive words just for the sake of wounding the feelings of the brethren.

3.       Do not utter incisive words just to show that you are right and they are wrong

4.       The wounds must be inflicted by the scriptures, not your personal preferences, opinions, or your vitriolic personality and vocabulary

5.       Lastly, use incisive words sparingly. Do it when it is badly needed. Do not neglect the other means of sharing God’s word like reminding them of the promises of God, testifying about his goodness and acts, encouraging the weary. I do not want to be around people whose exclusive ministry is rebuking.

6.       In short, Make sure first that you love the persons you are correcting. Incisive words must have a definite end, that is their sanctification and their perseverance

Photo Credit: Thanks to Simon Howden who has kindly offered the image I used above at freedigitalphotos.net. Howden's portfolio is found here